Archive for the 'Announcements' Category

I don’t know why all these peo­ple are all like “You can’t eat that bacon on this plane” or “I’m sorry sir but you can’t bring a ham sand­wich to a Bar Mitz­vah” All I know is that this is sup­po­sed to be a free country and once in a while a man needs to get his pork rind fix even though ever­yone else in the fune­ral par­lor is loo­king at him funny. So any­way Chro­nus deci­ded to swap things over to HAMROIC mode and what do you know, things star­ted to fall down with deli­cious and slightly salty ease! Grats on Ham­roic Stone Guard and Feng!

Con­gra­tu­la­tions Chro­nus on com­ple­ting another expansion!
Stay tuned as we pre­pare for the next expan­sion: Mists of Pan­da­ria! Usual silli­ness below :)

Chronus killed Madness of Deathwing Heroic on July 26, 2012

Good mor­ning. In less than an hour, airc­raft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the lar­gest aerial battle in this his­tory of mankind.
Man­kind — that word should have new mea­ning for all of us today.
We can’t be con­su­med by our petty dif­fe­ren­ces anymore.
We will be uni­ted in our com­mon interests.
Perhaps its fate that today is the 26th of July, and you will once again be figh­ting for our free­dom, not from tyranny, oppres­sion, or per­se­cu­tion — but from annihilation.
We’re figh­ting for our right to live, to exist.
And should we win the day, the 26th of July will no lon­ger be known as an Eas­tern King­doms holi­day, but as the day when Aze­roth dec­la­red in one voice:
“We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We’re going to live on!
We’re going to survive!”
Today, we cele­brate our Yay-Azeroth-isn’t-destroyed Day!

Slip­ped disc cau­sing you pro­blems? Misa­lign­ment pla­guing your every move­ment? Come to Chro­no­prac­tors — Azeroth’s BEST AND ONLY 10 per­son chi­ro­prac­tic team! We’ll knead out that corrup­tion and knock away all those corrup­ted bloods! Our certified-in-Tijuana  not-actual-doctors will deal with those pesky hideous amal­ga­ma­tions and help to rid you of those out of place armor pla­tes! All this comes with our No Barrel Roll Gua­ran­tee™! Stop on by today and ask about our Fiery Grip Spe­cial!

Chronus Killed Heroic Spine of Deathwing on 07-18-12

Ar Engens ar dameged!
05 23rd, 2012

The Alliance should really start opting for the exten­ded warranty on their purcha­ses as it seems not even an airship can be kept in pro­per wor­king order during even the ligh­test of enemy ons­laughts! Chro­nus dealt with deck fires, dra­gon blasts and one very angry cow in the pur­suit of this heroic vic­tory; but per­se­ve­rance won the day and our heroes went home with the gold!

Chronus killed Heroic Warmaster Blackhorn on May 23 2012

Fangs of the Father
05 3rd, 2012

Con­gra­tu­la­tions to Valin­dil who com­ple­ted the Legen­dary dag­ger pair Fangs of the Father tonight! Expect to see him pim­ping Golad and Tiriosh for some time!

Con­ti­nuing the assault on Deathwing’s for­ces, Chro­nus found itself once again at the site of many vic­to­ries: The Eye of Eter­nity. This time howe­ver the oppo­nent was no cra­zed dra­gon, but the storm­bin­der Hagara! The bipo­lar babe alter­na­ted bet­ween ice and light­ning but neither frost nor shock could deter our heroes and they sent her pac­king and made her leave her key!

Chronus Defeated Heroic Hagara on April 24, 2012

The Eyes Have It!
04 4th, 2012

If there’s one guy you can count on to watch your back… and front and top and pla­ces he shouldn’t really be watching really… it’s Zon’ozz! Chro­nus dis­patched the pee­ping tom by batt­ling eye tendrils(and claws and flails) with three-stooges like effi­ciency! Con­gra­tu­la­tions on another heroic kill!

Chronus killed Heroic Zon'ozz on April 3, 2012

Chro­nus put Heroic Yor’sahj in his place
This weird bas­tard don’t even have a face

The boss falls down, the crowd yells woot
Areyn walks away with heroic conq loot!

Well, he sneaks around the world from Agmar to Venoms­pite
He’s a pur­ple trans­lu­cent wyrm from Blac­krock down to Stran­glethorn
He’ll take you for a ride inside a twi­light realm!
Tell me, where in the world is Heroic Ultraxion?

Con­gra­tu­la­tions to Chro­nus on their second Heroic Kill in Dra­gon Soul!

Chro­nus Killed Heroic Ultra­xion on February 21st 2012

Chro­nus killed heroic Cho­gall. They did a good job. There was cake afterwards.